


My last note

by sherllycolmpels



Series: Letters to John [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Depressed Sherlock, Depression, Letter, POV Sherlock Holmes, Pre-Series, Suicidal Sherlock, Suicidal Thoughts, john saved sherlock's life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 20:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10226912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherllycolmpels/pseuds/sherllycolmpels
Summary: Sherlock was depressed and suicidal before he met John.





	

Dear ~~whoever’s reading this,~~ John,

This letter is my note. It is what people do, don’t they – leave a note?

Life hasn’t been easy lately, well – It’s never been, but things got worse in the past few months – I had survived drugs overdoses a few times before, the death of my dog, who was the only true friend I’ve ever had, and bullies. I’ve tried to be strong for so long, but I don’t know for how much longer I’d be able to fool others. A long time ago I’ve stopped fooling myself.

I can still manage to take a hold on myself and keep myself away from the drugs, at least for now, but with each passing day it is harder. My emotions, they are bubbling behind the surface and threaten to get through the surface and rip me apart. I am so alone. I’m so tired of being alone.

I have no one. I wish there was someone who could understand me, who could tolerate me long enough to keep me company, without pity and disgust. Who could push away these thoughts. It’s been so long, too long. I don’t know how much longer I’d be able to keep going.

The loneliness is suffocating me. It’s like a snake around my neck, holding it tighter and tighter, squeezing the air out of me until there’s no more air in my lungs and no more power in my body. I don’t know how much longer I’d be able to survive feeling like that, living like that.

So, in case I’m gone, I’m sorry. I’ve tried my best.

-Sherlock Holmes

 

John, it's embarrassing, but these had been my thoughts up until you came. Thank you for coming into my life, John - because of you I’m still here today.


End file.
